Are you always busy?
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm always volunteering, working, and building my business. I'm always giving of myself to others in someway through community based volunteer organizations and other ways. But right now I am not busy; I have been experiencing storm after storm during the past few months, actually year or two but especially the past 2 months. I have been fighting to get back to my true self emotionally and spiritually. And I felt shamed by past bad decisions and that my world was turned upside down. But during this time, I heard from many “You are always busy!” This statement made me think about how many other women are struggling but no one notices because the woman is always busy. So I decided to write a blog post about “The Busy Woman Concerns".
We all know no one wants to hear our sad story over again and again as we process how quickly things turned for the worst. No one wants to deal or can deal with the level of brokenness you are going through especially when you usually have it all together. They told me to pray about it, it will all be okay, you are stronger than your situation, relocate and start over, and they will pray for me. But my inner person, the “busy overachiever woman” in me was screaming for help and for someone to listen to me. Who do you talk to when life is falling apart around you? I have a few persons on my list and didn't want to run them off with my problems. See when you are always busy everyone assumes that life is going well. That you have your life all put together well. But, usually that is not the case. You are usually fighting to meet everyone’s expectations of you and your expectation of yourself.
See, I always giving to others, volunteering my time to multiple organizations, working full-time, trying to maintain healthy relationships with family and friends and stay physically health but usually something was broken. For me, it was my health, finances and career. I took jobs that didn’t challenge me or pay me well compared to my skills, education, work experience and knowledge. I was sick ALL the time; my body was acting out and asking for me to slow down. But, of course I kept going! I had made promises to other and took on projects that were not of my purpose. So the results are bad decisions, mistakes, sickness, lack, unforgiveness and uncertainty of my future.
So fast-forward to today, I post daily on Facebook, IG, LinkedIn and Twitter positive saying, quotes, bible versus and held onto my problems, tears, concerns and anxiety privately and behind closed doors. I told few from my support-tribe of friends my true concerns. I have been trying to find me, defeat my negative self-talk, find my purpose and rebuild my confidence.
So, why do we stay so busy? After all, once we stop, someone else will pick up the pieces and projects that you thought you alone could do.
So what happens when you stop? Personally, people walked away, talked about my decisions but did not talk to me, while others stood by and supported. I was home most of the day, which caused so much more heartache than you could image. I was no longer part of my community, the same community I gave so much time, skills, development of projects and money to. Plus, remember I'm such a busybody but I haven't been busy enjoying life, I have been busy fighting for me! Just surviving. But, sometimes we just need to slow down and deal with our pains, feelings and emotions in order for it not to control our futures.
When you are no longer always busy, you can let go of your past and build a life you deserve. It isn’t easy, but know that it’s totally worth it. As women, we aren't given that time to heal. We are expected to be Super Women, Wonder Women, achievers, motivators, mothers, daughters, sisters, best-friends, friends, lovers and so much more as we battle our pains, depressions and heartaches. I felt like I had to be perfect at all times to get the blessings God had for me. If I messed up, there was no forgiveness but judgment by others. How could I love myself if I wasn't allowed to find and heal myself? The journey has been a lonely one for sure but developing into the person I'm created to be is so much more important than pleasing others. So, please learn to choose YOU.
I learned my busyness kept me from loving me and from sharing my true self with others. I was so busy giving but not renewing my spirit or self. I was too busy achieving. I was too busy just being busy to escape reality. When I woke up, I realized I was sleep walking through life and that I needed to save myself before I continued to give of myself to others. My life was a mess and it was time to clean it up!
So through my reflections and blog, I hope to share more of my story with other women who can truly relate. It isn't easy for me to write and open up but while I'm healing, I thought maybe, just maybe someone needs to hear my story and know you aren't alone.
So as I share throughout the months to come, I pray you are able to find yourself again, love her deeply and save her while experiencing the storms she is currently in. I'm fighting to save me; I hope you do the same! Plus, if you know of a busy woman who is doing it all, check in on her! Not a quick text or call but truly check-in, grab a glass of wine, dinner and give her your full attention. She needs you.
Until next time,
Shemika L. Moore, MBA is a energetic, detail oriented, compassionate, creative and committed leader with over 15 years’ experience in Employer Engagement, Retention and Career Coaching along with strong analytical and exceptional communication skills. Seeking to help organizations meet its goals by developing employees who are confident and skilled individuals optimizing their contribution to the organization. Passionate about helping individuals who not only seek to achieve career success, but looking for more joy and fulfillment.